Veggie Gone Wrong

Few words are so totally weird or so totally out of context like Eggplant.

Seriously, eggplant??? Whomever came up with that name, had clearly no clue about how to name vegetables. At least in my language, the name Berengena speaks of the color of said vegetable. It would've been very unfortunate if we had come up with Planta de Huevo. One too many sexual-innuendo jokes come to mind. I prefer the more sophisticated name Aubergine, but it seems like no one at our local supermarkets is familiar with it. Not that I buy it. The thought of it makes me shiver.
See, to me, eggplants are right up there with dog poo and vomit.
I'm known for being an excellent, will-try-anything-once eater, but eggplant... eggplant?!?! I don't know where to start... could it be the squishy and gross texture? or the mild but nausseating flavor? The only good thing about this mislabeled veggie is it's color. Many times I have seen gorgeous, beautiful mini eggplants, so cute indeed that I wanted to buy them just to hold them. Those are the times I wonder how such beauties can be so deceptively disgusting. And yes, I have tried them in many ways, but even the most seasoned piece of it turns my dinner into a nightmare.
That's why I came up with what I call the Eggplant Pledge of Zero Tolerance:
I, M. Carolina Perry (nee Rivadeneira) solemnly state that, not in pizza or in stews, not fried or steamed, not in dips or disguised under 2 pounds of parmesan cheese, I will not eat eggplants for eggplants are evil and vile and will be banned from my home for eternity. Yuck.